Keeping It Simple

I’m going to keep this as simple as I can; because – ultimately – what I’m trying to say is just that: simple. I will at some point actually introduce myself: I’m a firm believer in the personal touch when it comes to most things, but for this (introduction?) I don’t think that my name, where I’m from, what I do or even my story is that important and I hope that after reading this you understand why.

My favourite quote in the whole world was written by Cheryl Strayed and it says “You don’t have a right to the cards that you believe you should have been dealt with. You have an obligation to play the hell out of the ones you’re holding…” I first read this quote when I was desperately searching for words to pull me back up after the latest Unfortunate Event of my series: I was at one of the lowest points of my life, beyond broken and feeling sorrier for myself than Eyore ever did (which was arguably justified might I add) but these words hit me one million times harder than what had knocked me down in the first place.

Because life isn’t fair...

• We don’t choose to be born.
• We don’t get to choose our family, our circumstances or our genes.
• We don’t get to choose our talents, our allergies, our weaknesses or our strengths.
• We don’t get to choose what we like, what we don’t like.
• We don’t get much say in who we meet, and we certainly don’t have any say in how those people affect us.
• “We are a sum of our life’s experiences” (my Mum), and yet half of those experiences aren’t ones we controlled.

…but that’s life. That’s just the way it is… it’s no fairer than the cards you’re dealt after a random shuffle by a non-bias, non-cheating dealer.

The slapping realization (which to be honest I’d had before but just needed reminding) that sometimes life just sucks for no real reason or explanation was astonishingly helpful to me. But what was more life-changing was prompt to do the best and be the best with what I had…

• I am who I am.
• I have the family I have.
• The stuff that happened to me happened.
• I learnt the lessons I learnt.
• I feel the things I feel.
• I like the things I like.
• I’m good at what I’m good at.
• I am who I am.

And so I’ve learnt to play my hand. I have learnt to play my hand so well that no one would know that half of my cards are the shittest in the pack. I have found my strengths and led with them all the time; I have developed my poker face, and I made allies, people who I could work with to make my hand and their stronger and I have played and played and played.

Because what that quote taught me, or rather reminded me, was that what I’m holding doesn’t matter; I will always, no matter how bad the game, be holding a trump card that will always get me through. That trump card isn’t one story, it isn’t one person, it isn’t my strengths or my weaknesses. That trump card is a culmination of all the other cards that I am holding.

That trump card is simply me: who I am in each moment, the strengths of the weaknesses, not the story but the aftereffect.

Just me…

• And I will always have it.
• I will always play it.
• And it will always let me win.

So hey; I’m Hatti Robinson, I’m 23 and ¾, I have a delightfully bruised brain and the reason that I am so honoured to be a part of this amazing venture is because I’m happy, I’m okay and I desperately want to help other people be happy too because if I can turn my brain around; I honestly think, with a bit of help, anyone can.

Thanks for reading; now play the hell out of your hand!