I think a lot of thoughts ….
Most of them stemming from huge anxieties and minuscule levels of self-esteem. They run through my head all day everyday at the speed of light some barely loud enough for me to spend a second on, some are so loud I can think of nothing else until I've cleared them and lord knows that doesn't happen without a profuse amount of [irrational?] overthinking!
When those loud thoughts are joyous, the noise in my head is a symphony that I could listen to; sing to; dance to, all day! But when they aren't, the cacophonous riot that goes on for hours and hours, backwards and forwards as I think higher and higher and higher until I'm not just overthinking, I'm OverBackDownRoundTheCornerThenBackUpOverAndOverAndOverThinking; that cacophonous riot bores into my soul and wears me down.
Or at least it did….
That noise; that terrible terrible noise that I couldn't ever dull, like a poison slowly eating my brain in a painful and twisting sensation: I finally found my antidote. The one thought I need to think to make it all instantly subside and become more manageable. To stop the OverBackDownRoundTheCornerThenBackUpOverAndOverAndOverThinking!
…. and bam …. quiet. Not silence. There will never be silence. But the riot has stopped. And I'm ready for the next time it rears its head.